


If Only You Knew

by YukiRivera



Category: Damon - Fandom, simon/david - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Britain's Got Talent - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, bgt - Freeform, m/m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 14:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16220537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukiRivera/pseuds/YukiRivera
Summary: Taking place during Week 6 of the 2016 Britain's Got Talent auditions, David finds himself in the middle of a crossroads. His wife has had enough, depression lingers on his front door like a bad smell and then there is Simon. He's always joked about his Simon. He's always found his boss attractive, but picking on him and flirting with him has always just been for fun. So why is it that seeing him flirt with some pretty little fan girl bother him so much?Simon has always had a knack for picking the right talent for the job and choosing David Williams to judge BGT was no different. Yet David seems to be falling apart and snapping at him for little things. But when David begins flirting relentlessly with a contestant, unknown jealousy creeps it's ugly head to the forefront of Simon's mind. With two of most popular judges at each other's throats the show is going to suffer. But which will suffer more; the show or their personal lives?





	1. Chapter 1

It was nearing the end of their first five-minute break when Amanda was jerked out of her concentration from her latest Tweet by the sound of Simon's coffee cup slamming onto the desk. With the audience loudly chatting behind them, she was the only one to notice his irritation. Glancing up at him from the corner of her eye, she could see his face bright red under the harsh studio lights. He was starring off at the stage muttering to himself. It took several taps on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Simon what's wrong?" she asked.

"David," he offered with a flick of his hand. "I'm so sick of him flirting with every man that walks on stage like some sex starved teenager."

Amanda's brow creased in confusion. "David has always been like this."

"I know, but damn. Does he have to make an ass of himself constantly?"

"Simon seriously? What's gotten into you today?" Let alone this past week, she thought.

He glanced over at David who was deep in conversation with Alesha. "I don't know," he muttered without taking his eyes off the comedian.

Without looking back a Amanda he turned his attention back towards the stage. He hoped that she bought his lie, because he knew exactly what was wrong. It was that dream again. The same one he had been having for a week that left him in a rather... embarrassing state when he woke up. Something he hadn't experienced since puberty.

Grudgingly he closed his eyes and forced himself to recall the dream. It was the same every night. Images of David's hands all over his body flooding his vision. He watched himself push David up against the wall, tearing at his pristine attire while their lips never separated.

"Okay everyone! We are back in ten seconds," the stage manager called out over the loud speakers.

The announcement quickly pulled Simon out of his memory and back to reality. What it did not do was stop him from questioning what the hell was going on in his head.

It was already Thursday and the week had gone by in a flash of auditions and a mountain of paperwork from hell. The music mogul was used to all of that. He had been dedicated to his work for as long as he could remember. Sacrificing everything for the sake of his empire. At this point he was sacrificing his dignity since 2012 when he brought David Williams onto the show. But this week had been different. Felt different. The comedian was his usual campy self, but... touchier than he had been in the last four years. Perhaps it was just the excitement of being back on BGT. Or maybe Simon really did have feelings for David.

"No, no, no," Simon muttered.

Amanda smacked him on the arm once again bringing him out of his thoughts. She threw him a cold look, making him realize that he had zoned out through the entire act.

Shit, he thought.

Would I say yes or no? He scribbled on his paper and slid it to Amanda.

No, it sucked

"I'm sorry but it's a no from me," Simon commented sending the act back to where ever they came from.

The acts came and went. For the remainder of the night, he tried to say focused but earned a periodic kick from Amanda when he began drifting off into his thoughts. What he didn't realize was that the last act would send his mild irritation at David to a full-blown rage.

The audience shrieked in delight as the next act walked on stage. A young, attractive man walked up the mic wearing only black trousers and a matching black suit jacket. He had a warm smile on his face that contrasted the rock-hard abs that sent the audience, and his fellow judges, into a frenzy. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the judges perk up at the sight of the young man. David in particular, looked like a starving dog with a steak dangling in front of him.

"Well hello there," Alesha chimed.

David shot up out of his seat excitedly clapping. "It's a yes from me," he exclaimed.

Simon looked over at him and rolled his eyes. What a bloody idiot, he thought. Why doesn't he look at me like that? He jerked his head up at the last thought. Where the hell did that come from? Snapping himself back to reality for the umpteenth time tonight he tried his best to pay attention to Amanda and Alesha's questioning.

"What's your name?"

"I'm Saulo from Canary Islands," the man responded. His thick accent only added to the sex appeal that radiated off him like an expensive cologne. David couldn't help the devilish grin from spreading across his face.

Oh, the things I would do to that man, he thought as a familiar burning echoed in the pit of his stomach. Completely transfixed by Saulo, he took no notice of Simon.

Bloody hell, get on with it, Simon growled internally. David was making a complete and utter ass of himself. Drooling over a man in his twenties; ready to rip off his clothes and beg, had Saulo glanced his way.

God damn it, this day needs to end, Simon thought as he urged the contestant to go on.

~

 

Simon stormed into the community dressing room with the other judges trailing behind. They were all engaged in excited conversation over their plans for the night; completely unaware of Simon's poor mood. He flopped down in his make up chair breathing out a sigh of exhaustion. Dayla, his favorite makeup artist, easily read the moguls temperament and decided not to say a word. When he got like this, it was just best to stay out of his way. Rather than speaking, she did what she found to be the best way to calm him down. Remove the makeup and give him one of her famous quick facial massages.

He could feel the tension and stress of the day fading away under the pressure of Dayla's fingertips. Making a mental note to give her a raise, he relaxed further into her touch; that is until he tuned into David's voice.

"Oh my God did you see that Saulo?" he exclaimed.

"Well obviously," Alesha snickered as she gathered her things.

"They way he moved and that body," David groaned. "Oh, what I could do with that man."

"Would you shut up?" Simon yelled from his chair.

The once loud dressing room went silent at his outburst. Everyone stopped what they were doing and took turns looking between Simon and David.

"Excuse me?" David asked.

"Seriously, just shut up. You made a complete ass of yourself out there. Drooling over a man half your age."

"Oh really? Like that's any different than you flirting with girls only a fraction of your age."

"Okay for one, I'm not flirting and two, at least I'm not stripping them naked with my eyes as they perform."

David raised his eyebrow at Simon' last comment. "Simon what is your problem? You've been in a shit mood all week. What haven't gotten laid recently?"

"That's all you think about isn't it?" Simon turned in his seat to face his opponent head on. All of the anger and jealousy was boiling up and pouring out his mouth without a second thought. "I swear, dealing with you is like living in a gay porn nightmare. It's every day. Every damn show. God it's embarrassing."

"Is that so? Despite your pissy, prude attitude, quite a few people find me funny. Or is it that you're jealous that even the best surgeon in Britain couldn't remove that stick up your ass," David fired back his face heating in anger.

"Stick up my ass? Well this stick up my ass is what built all of this and pays your ridiculous salary." Simon was standing up, arms wide open to illustrate the enormity of his work.

David paused cocking his head to the side ready to fire back a comment that he knows would shake his Simon.

Alesha knew that look and took a step towards David, placing her hand on his arm. "David- "

He jerked way from her touch and took a step towards the music mogul. "Are you pissed off because I was flirting? Or are you pissed about the fact that I'm making you question your sexuality and you can't control that?"

The fire of Simon's anger was squashed in one blow leaving him to just stare at the comedian in front of him. Was it possible? Did David just discover what had been bothering him without even realizing it? Simon glared at David as he picked up his keys.

"Piss off David. Despite your fantasies I'm not gay. And even if I were, I wouldn't choose you of all people." Having the final say, Simon stormed out of the building and out to his car. Thinking only of which bar was the closest to his home.

"David are you- "

"Alesha, I don't want to talk about it. I'm going home," David said with a finality that could rival Simon's. Picking up his own keys, he calmly walked to his car, trying to cool off.


	2. Chapter 2

"That arrogant, sex driven pratt. Who the bloody hell does he think he is?" Simon ranted as he got in his car. Push starting the engine, he tore out of the exclusive parking lot where the valet stowed his car and out onto the main road. His mind raced as he replayed the argument with David. The comedian had pushed his buttons in ways tonight that hadn't been done in a long time. In fact, he hadn't been this irritated since he hired Williams. Realizing that only irritated him further.

The drive to his empty home from the studio typically took about twenty minutes, but Simon had another place in mind. Leo's. His favorite bar. It was near his home, but out of the way enough that he typically wasn't bothered by anyone when he went in. He let out a deep breath he didn't realize he was holding in as the building came into view.

\---

David slammed his car door closed as he entered the vehicle. "What the hell was Simon's problem?" The two had their spouts before, but nothing like what just happened after the show. Was he really that pissed that I was flirting with that contestant...what was his name? David thought driving towards his home. Rolling his eyes, he attempted to drown out the residual anger with music from the local radio station, but just like the telly, five hundred stations and nothing on. Slamming down the power button on his radio, he resolved to spend the rest of the ride home in silence.

\--

"Here you go Si," Aaron smiled as he placed the vodka sour in front to the pissy looking mogul. "Is something wrong?"

Simon let out a deep breath and gave the bar tender a once over. He was a fairly attractive twenty-something with messy brown hair and black rimmed glasses. There was something comforting about his presence. It was as if he knew just how to talk to Simon when he was upset.

If I am gay or bisexual, he thought, I'm going after Aaron.

"Had a row with Williams," Simon muttered taking a sip of his drink.

Aaron raised his eyebrows in response. "You mean like an actual fight?"

"Uh-huh."

The bartender whistled, "Damn. You plan on apologizing?"

"Pfft no, he's the one who started it."

Aaron didn't even try to stifle the laugh that erupted from his lips. "Simon you sound like you're five. He started it," he mocked. "We both know how you get when you're angry. Just smooth it over. That man is good for you."

"Good for me?" Simon asked horrified.

"Hey Aaron, can we get a round of jello shots?" a chipper red head waved across the bar.

"No problem," he called back. Returning his attention to Simon, a serious look came over his face. "Seriously Si, as your friend; go talk to him and smooth it over."

"He's right you know," Amanda whispered sneaking up behind Simon.

"Hello sweetheart. What brings you here?"

"I figured I'd find you here cooling off after David outted you to the entire crew," she said casually slipping into the bar stool next to her boss.

Simon snorted into his drink. "He did not out me to anyone. Despite what he thinks, I'm not gay."

"No maybe not," she thought out loud. "But you're questioning it."

Simon knocked back his drink and waved his hand for another. "I am not," he protested.

"Really? Then why did you get so upset when David was flirting with that contestant?"

"I... I don't know."

\--

"Hey honey how was your day?" Lara smiled from the couch as David walked in.

"Oh my God. You would not believe what Simon did."

She rolled her eyes in response and took a sip of wine from her glass. Of course, Simon, it was always about Simon. Lara was pretty sure that David didn't even talk about her this much when they were dating.

"So, this act came out and he was so attractive, and Simon was furious because of the way I talked to him. It's not like I've never flirted with any one before and besides he is just as bad," David ranted tossing his jacket over the opposite end of the white couch.

David's rant continued as he moved through the house. Tossing his work clothes into the laundry room, placing his work bag in its usual home in the study and getting ready to relax. Lara barely registered his voice as he droned on and on. He didn't even bother to stop talking as he walked upstairs and out of ear shot to change his clothes. It was the same conversation that they had each and every night when he came home. The topic varied, but the subject always remained the same... Simon. Lara tuned him out nearly ten minutes ago, although he had yet to take notice.

"David, we need to talk," Lara said turning from the tv towards her husband. He was in his favorite grey sweats and a loose-fitting t-shirt, hiding away his body that at one point drove her wild with passion. Except now, she felt nothing.

Without skipping a beat, David continued his rant. It was like this every night he came home. Droning on and on about his precious Simon, and yet, when Lara tried to talk to him about anything else... he never heard her.

"David!" she screamed bolting up from her seat. "Would you shut up for a minute?"

He stopped dead in his tracks, finally taking notice of his beloved wife. "I'm sorry dear, what's wrong?"

"We need to talk," she sighed. She glanced down at the stack of papers sitting on the table, debating whether to pick them up.

"Um okay, about what?"

Taking in a deep breath, Lara closed her eyes and gathered as much strength and courage as she could muster. "Are you in love?"

He blinked in confusion. "Of course, I love you silly," he smiled with a slight tip of his head.

"That's not what I asked. I asked if you were in love."

"Well yes of course. Why are you asking such strange things?" His grin spread across his face as he started towards her.

Lara took a step back towards the table and threw her hand up in front of her. "David stop."

"What? Why?"

"David, you may love me, but you're not in love with me, are you?"

"I-"

"Don't," she commanded, "just don't. Please."

It was then that David finally noticed all the things out of place on Lara. She wasn't in her usual lounge pants, but her jeans that she saved for travel. Tears were filling her eyes, on the edge of spilling down her already stained cheeks. Worst of all, he realized he had been so busy being angry that he didn't take notice of the stack of papers on the coffee table. Or her travel bag that only made its way into the living room for holiday.

"What is this?" he asked pointing to her bag.

"David," she paused again, picking up the paper from the table. Her tears finally broke free as she handed them to him. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve to cry, after all it was she who was leaving him. Not the other way around. "I'm divorcing you."

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks, forcing him to collapse in a nearby chair. "Don't do this," he whispered.

"I'm sorry David. I love you but I won't play second string to someone else. I deserve better and so do you." Lara looked on helplessly as David's gaze dropped to the floor. She had been expecting anger or even begging; but not this. His silent withdrawal almost stunned her back into staying. But she knew she couldn't. She was miserable and needed more from her partner. And David was a good man who deserved to be loved the way that he loved him. "I'm sorry David," she whispered picking up her bag and walking towards him.

He never looked up. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. Lara gingerly placed a final kiss on top of his head and walked towards the door, bags in hand. The soft click of her heels resonated through the home they once shared ending with one final snap as she locked the front door behind her. David sat in stunned silence, trying to process the short conversation he just had with his wife.

"No," he muttered. "Ex-wife." The word stuck in his throat like a bad bite of cake. Drying his eyes, he picked himself up and started towards his study. Desperate to calm down he searched for anything to distract him. None of the books on the shelves interested him and he couldn't sit down long enough to write.Deciding to drown out his day from hell in something sweet, he went to the kitchen to fetch a bottle of Śliwówika; a strong plum flavored Nalewki, he kept on hand when he had a good book and time to relax. "I need to relax," he said to no one in particular. "Just a couple of glasses and a hot bath so I can deal with this tomorrow." Without looking, he grabbed one of the crystal whisky glasses he picked up in Ireland last summer and slumped down on the couch.

Finding nothing of interest he turned on the movie channel and absent mindlessly sipped the sweet 75 proof liquor. With each glass that passed his lips, his anger began to fade, and sadness washed over him until nearly the entire bottle was gone and the early morning hours ticked away.


	3. Chapter 3

David: Simon I...

"Where in the bloody hell is he?" Simon grumbled, tossing his phone onto the couch in the dressing area after rereading the random 3am text message for the sixth time. Pacing the open area, fury radiated off him like a bad smell. Alesha and Amanda gave each other worried looks. They too had called David and to no avail. The girls were pretty used to Simon's temperamental rantings, but yesterday Simon was angrier than they had ever seen him. And at David of all people. He was a smutty flirt, yes, but that never seemed to bother Simon before. Perhaps David was refusing to show up after the way his beloved Simon treated him.

"I swear if he doesn't answer my next call, he's fired," Simon shouted storming out the back door.

"Please pick up David," Alesha whispered furiously typing away at her phone.

\---

Alesha: David where are you? Simon is pissed and threatening to FIRE YOU!!! Answer Your phone

David's black IPhone had been buzzing non-stop on the living room floor where it dropped last night. He however, was still passed out face down on the couch. An empty bottle of liquor was carelessly tossed beside the couch, while a half empty bottle of fruity merlot stood on the coffee table. His alcohol induced slumber caused him to snore loud enough to drown out the pounding on his front door.

"David! David! Where the fuck are you?" Simon bellowed as he pounded on the front door.

"You should have been a police officer the way you're hitting that door," a sweet voice commented behind him.

Simon whipped around to find David's wife, Lara standing behind him. She was in a pair of form fitting black slacks and a red blouse that showed off her hourglass figure. She had always had a knack for style that he admired.

"Where is David?" Simon asked, exhausted. "He's three hours late."

The soft smile disappeared from her face. "You mean he's not with you?"

"No I haven't heard from him all day."

"Shit," she muttered digging in her purse for her keys.

"Seriously, what's going on?"

"Take this," she said holding a key to him. "I left." Tears were beginning to form at the corners of her eyes. After a few quick blinks they disappeared, as if they were never there.

"What? Why?"

Taking Simon's hand, she placed the key in the center of his palm and rolled his fingers around it. "He doesn't love me anymore. Not like he used to. He's in love with someone else." A single tear rolled down from her face as she stared into Simon's eyes.

He couldn't help but feel like she was trying to tell him something with that gaze. Like the haze of forgotten memory, he felt as if he knew what she meant; but couldn't quite put his finger on it. Taking in one final hitched breath, she turned and walked back to her car. It would be one of the last few times he ever saw her.

Simon turned and used his new key to enter the house Looking around he found that everything was as it usually was. His anxiety was reaching an all-time high the further he entered the house. The comedian was always so pristine that he expected some semblance of chaos with Lara's unexpected departure. But there was nothing. That is until he entered the living room.

Sprawled out on the couch was David. Face down in nothing but boxers and his white t-shirt. For a moment, Simon could do nothing but stare at the drunken idiot. His body was much leaner than he thought with tight, defined muscles from swimming. Without thinking, he reached down and ran his fingers up David's leg causing the passed out man to twitch.

A small moan escaped David's lips as he turned to his side, shaking Simon out of his trance. Clothes were strewn across the room as if they were taken off in desperation to cool off. Simon kicked aside the empty bottle and picked up David's almost dead phone. Forty-five text messages and twenty missed calls. Turning off the tv, he stood next to the couch looking down at David wondering what to do with him.

"David. David wake up," Simon called out shaking him. He was greeted by groans and what possibly sounded like a muffled piss off. But he wasn't quite sure with the pillow in front of David's mouth.

"David get up," Simon yelled kneeling down to his level and shaking him again.

David groaned again, muttering something unintelligent as he twisted onto his side.

"Bloody hell," Simon growled. He dropped to his knees and got within inches of his subordinate's face. "David, it's Simon. Get the fuck up now," he commanded.

David's eyes half fluttered open. "My Simon?"

"Yes, you're fucking Simon. Now get up or I'm going to pour cold water on you."

"Mmmmm, I love my Simon," he muttered reaching out for him.

Simon trying to move back from the couch, but was met by the coffee table. With his movement limited, David unconsciously grabbed ahold of Simon's shirt and pulled him down on top of him. Caught in David's ridiculously tight grip, Simon began to struggle, pushing as hard as he could away from him.

"God damn it, let me go!" he shouted finally able to pry himself away, Simon's miniscule resolve had dissipated. Quickly he marched over to the open kitchen and snatched up the first glass he found. It was a cute Batman character cup he had probably picked up at a book signing. Filling the glass with the coldest water he could from the tap; he happily threw it on the sleeping figure. 

David shot up off the couch in a panic. "What the hell is going on?" he shrieked.

"You're late."

"What?" David asked running his hand through his disheveled hair. "Simon, what are you doing here? What time is it?"

"You're three hours late you idiot," Simon barked. "Get in the damn shower and hurry up. Dec and Ant are covering for us for the time being, but we need to get back to the bloody show."

"Shit, shit, shit," David muttered scrambling through the living room and up the stairs towards the master bathroom.

Not long after David's hungover, pathetic attempt at running upstairs, Simon heard the shower going. Looking around the room, he was horrified. Never had he seen David like this and his home resembled something like a frat party in America. Generally speaking, David was well put together at work and in his personal life. However, with the comments from Lara and finding David face down drunk; it was safe to say that David's whole world was in disarray.

Bloody hell, Simon thought. Taking in a deep breath, he counted to three and decided to do something he had never done for an employee. Or anyone for that matter. He would clean up David's house.

\---

David nearly ran down the stairs buttoning up his pale pink shirt trying to get to Simon as quickly as possible. It was bad enough that he was late, even worse that Simon of all people was the one to fetch him. He must think I'm an idiot, David mentally scolded himself. Simon must absolutely hate me. It had been years since he was as drunk as he was last night. And all over two people. Remembering the disaster he left in the living room he groaned as he turned the corner.

"What is this?" he asked astonished. Everything was picked up and put away. The washing machine was humming softly in the back room and in the kitchen stood Simon. His Simon, drying the glass from last night and putting it back into the cupboard.

"I thought I'd help you out a bit," Simon smiled walking towards him.

David's eyes filled with tears. No one had been this kind to him when he was a depressed mess. Even Lara, who was an affectionate, sweet woman; never knew how to cope with his rare mornings after a night of drinking. "Oh Simon thank you," David breathed. It was almost a whisper that if uttered too loud, the mess would reappear and his embarrassment would come back with full force.

Simon blushed and looked down, muttering something about it not being a big deal. David couldn't help but grin. His Simon was just so irresistible when he blushed. It made him come within inches of telling Simon what happened. He would eventually have to of course. But confessing his love to not only his boss, but a man, a straight man as far as he knew; was something that David didn't even want to consider at the moment. Instead he did what he always did. Put on his best camp smile and embrace Simon in a too tight hug that meant more than thank you. A message that was lost on Simon.

Prying himself away from David, Simon did a once over of his employee and nodded in approval. "So David, what happened?" he asked walking towards the door.

He took a nervous gulp and turned towards the door. "Lara left me."

"I heard."

David stopped dead in his tracks. "How did you-"

"Lara found me outside pounding on the door. She gave me a key."

So that's it. It is officially over, he thought. Wiping away a stray tear, David took a deep breath to compose himself. "Are you ready to go?" he asked coldly.

Simon stopped at the door and turned to face him. "David... Who are you in love with?"

He paused at the question, wondering what he should say. Tell the man that he playfully flirts with that what started out as teasing developed into feelings that he couldn't deny. Or perhaps that he was in love with a man who would never love him back? Unable to decide, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"Just some guy." David waved off Simon's question and pulled open the front door. "He doesn't even like me, so it's not worth discussing." He stepped out of the house and was already on his way to Simon's car effectively ending the conversation.

Despite already speaking with Lara, his answer still took Simon back. Whoever he is had better get a clue, Simon thought joining David at the car. Lucky bastard.

After Auditions

"The auditions were pretty good today, yea?" Simon asked as the panel of judges walked backstage.

"Everything went smoothly despite you guys not showing up for half the day," Amanda smirked.

David' cheeks turned red at her comment. He had been horribly late and Simon had to come get him. What David still couldn't understand was why Simon came over in the first place. He wasn't the type of person to go out of his way like that. Especially for an employee who he claimed to dislike so much. Even Alesha said she was shocked that Simon came back with him instead of firing him like he threatened. He just couldn't figure Simon out.

With the music mogul's attention turned to Amanda, David stole a quick glance at him. He couldn't help but be mesmerized by Simon's smile. The way it spread up to his eyes and made them light up; especially when he was embarrassed. Simon had such a heavy aura of authority about him that every time David made him smile it was like a gift to see the inner Simon he kept locked away.

"Simon told me what happened," a familiar voice whispered, interrupting his thoughts.

David turned around to find Alesha standing beside him looking as if she wanted to hug him.

"I'm so sorry David."

"Its okay. She's right. I hate to admit it, but she's right."

Pulling him into a tight hug Alesha whispered, "Are you going to tell him?"

"What?" David pulled back. "Tell who what?"

"Don't play stupid with me. You know who I'm talking about. Are you going to tell him?"

He stole another quick glance at Simon who was engrossed in his own conversation. "No, I don't plan on it."

"Why not?"

"Why do you think? He's straight and I'm... well I'm me. It's not like it will be reciprocated."

"David, listen to me. Simon doesn't just go to his employees house three hours after they are supposed to be at work to pick them up. He fires them without ever leaving the set. Now you think that might mean something?"

"I don't know-"

"Well I do so go tell him, or at least ask him out."

"Well I-"

"Just go," she ordered giving him a slight shove towards Simon. "Hey Amanda come look at these new pants I just got, I want your opinion on them."

Smiling Amanda waved at Simon and gently touched David's shoulder as she walked past to join her fellow judge who was already halfway out the door.

"About bloody time," Amanda snickered to Alesha as they walked out leaving the two boys alone.

"Simon," David called out. He couldn't help his cheeks turning red at the look Simon gave him. A small smile curled one corner of as he raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement. It was Simon's classic come-fuck-me look that drove David senseless. "Would you like to come -"

"Mr. Cowell! Mr. Cowell!" a drop dead gorgeous twenty something girl called out. "Oh my God Simon Cowell I'm so excited to meet you!" she almost screamed bouncing up to him. "Can I talk to you a moment?"

"Sure," he said holding a finger up to David and flashing the young woman the same look he had just given David.

It was that moment that David knew he would never win. For all of Simon's faults he still had a line of beautiful women to choose from. And the comedian just couldn't compete. With Simon's full attention on the girl, David turned and stormed out of the building and out to find a taxi. Alesha called out to him, but he ignored her protests and focused on the task at hand. He had two more bottles of his favorite liquor at home that required his attention.

\---

After nearly twenty minutes of the girl's senseless flirting and begging for a job, Simon ended the conversation and turned his attention to David. Only to find that he was no longer there.

"David? David?" Simon called out. He marched through the backstage periodically calling out to his David trying to find him but to no avail. Feeling as if David wanted to tell him something important, his search became more desperate. Frantically he tore through his stage, images of David's tear stained face passed out filled his vision.

"Simon!" Alesha screamed after him, waving her hands in the air like a lunatic. "Hey are you looking for David?" she asked catching up to him doubled over trying to catch her breath.

Simon couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Obviously."

"He left about half an hour ago. He looked really upset and wouldn't even talk to me. Did you two have a row or something?"

"No, he sounded like he wanted to ask me something but Levi's daughter interrupted us."

"Did you blow her off?"

"No. But by the time I was done, David was gone."

"God Simon you idjit," Alesha groaned, her hand covering her eyes.

"What?"

"I suggest you go talk to him."

"Okay Alesha, what is going on? First I find him stupid drunk talking nonsense and now it's like he's throwing a tantrum because I didn't pay attention to him."

"For as brilliant as you are, there times when I think your head is firmly planted in your arse." Alesha's face was beginning to turn red with irritation. Simon was a dense idiot at times and this time if he didn't get it figured out then David would be the one to suffer. She was not about to let that happen. "Seriously Simon, you better talk to him."

Thoroughly confused, Simon did the only thing he could think of... send his comedian a text.

\---

David's phone buzzed on the end table next to his fresh glass of Śliwówika.

Simon: David, where are you?

David rolled his eyes and picked up the glass. "Like you care," he muttered.


	4. Chapter 4

Simon: Hey where did you go?

David: Home.

Simon: Did you want to talk?

David: Yeah... Doesn't matter though

Simon: It matters to me

David: I doubt it.

Simon: Why are you being like this?

David: Being like what Simon?

Simon: Being such a stuck-up arse

David: Piss off

Simon stared at his phone astonished. David never talked to him like that. Even when he was pissed about his rather cold demeanor towards contestants. He knew that Lara leaving him was devastating, but Simon never imagined that David would act like this. Especially when all he wanted to do was help.

Simon: In all seriousness, David, please tell me what's wrong. Why did you leave?

David: Why do you care?

Because... because, Simon couldn't think of a good answer. On one hand he wanted to tell him that he cared because he was a valuable member of the show. Yet on the other hand he wanted to tell him that his presence made a staggering effect on his life that he didn't quite understand yet. And as much as it scared him to have someone in his life that he couldn't understand, he couldn't bear to lose him. With all of these thoughts, Simon a master of words, did not know what to say. How to express the massive confusion that plagued his waking hours every time David walked into the room.

Simon: Because you're important

David: To who? The show?

Simon: Of course, you're important to the show.

"And there it is," David announced to an empty house. That was the only reason that Simon came over this morning or was even nice to him during the show today. Tears were streaming down his face as he gulped down the smooth, burning liquor. All those looks and smiles they were just for show, David thought. I've lost a great woman; my heart is in pieces and to top it off Simon has no clue.

David: Well bully for me. I'm so thrilled that I didn't ruin your precious show

Simon: Wait, what?

David: That's all you care about isn't it? You're precious fucking show

Simon: David that's not what I meant.

David: Then what did you mean?

Simon: .... It's complicated

David: Oh really? I don't buy that. It sounds to me like you said what you meant and now you're just trying to cover your ass.

Simon: God David would you just stop and let me talk?

David: Piss off

Missed call Simon Cowell

Missed call Simon Cowell

Simon: Come on David pick up, I want to talk to you

David: Go talk to that cheeky little blonde you were flirting with. I'm done

Simon: Blonde.... You mean that girl after the show? That's the daughter of Levi, the guy in charge of the cameras, she was asking for a job

David: Whatever Simon. I quit

Missed call Simon Cowell

Missed call Simon Cowell

Missed call Simon Cowell

Simon: David you can't be serious? Pick up the phone please

Simon: David pick up the phone

After twenty minutes and half a bottle of wine later, David shut off his phone. "There I've made my point. Simon can find someone else to play with on the show," David muttered into his glass. His tears had long dried up leaving behind sore and puffy eyes and a headache that he was convinced he could drink away. Tomorrow was Saturday and he could sleep off the nightmare that was the last couple of days. "No Simon, no Lara," he muttered. "Tomorrow I'm going to sleep." A small smile crept up on his face at the thought. Timidly, he walked around his living room, making his way to the entertainment center. Wanting to find a movie to drown out the remnants of the argument with Simon, he stared at the titles without really reading them. He picked up a random DVD and popped it into the player. A smile graced his lips as he sat down. It was a cheeky comedy that was one of his favorites that he hadn't seen in a while. Just as he was settling down into the film he heard a faint knock on the door.

"On my way," he called out adjusting his gray sweat pants as he made his way to the door. Who he found waiting on the other side of the door was the last person he wanted to see.


	5. Chapter 5

"What are you doing here?" David demanded.

"David please, let me in. Let's talk," Simon pleaded.

"I've had a long day and I'm not in the mood." David's breath was thick with the stench of alcohol, but he was much more articulate than Simon expected. Already sick of the conversation, David attempted to slam the door closed on Simon and his emotions.

"David please. I really need to talk to you," Simon continued shoving his foot in the doorway to stop the comedian from slamming the door in his face.

"Move your foot."

"No. Not until you open the door and talk to me," the mogul commanded.

The tone of his voice made David shrink back a bit. He was used to taking Simon on, but that tone of voice still made him nervous. Simon had no idea how badly he wanted to open the door and throw himself into his arms confessing his love. But he doesn't love me back, he thought. He couldn't deal with the rejection. Not from his Simon.

"Piss off Simon, I'm not in the mood and I'm not coming back."

"Why?"

"Because I said so." David's voice was becoming louder and louder trying to stifle the tears that threatened to fall.

"God damn it David tell me why you're leaving me," Simon shouted shoving open the door.

"Because I'm in love with you, you stupid self-absorbed git!" David screamed pushing Simon back. David was much stronger than he looked and sent Simon flying down the steps landing on his back. His vision clouded with pain, yet he could still hear the front door slam and lock. Once again a barrier between the comedian and the mogul.

David's hand dropped from the dead bolt, fresh tears flowing down his face. It's done, he thought. Finally over. A new pain surged through him at the thought. The last two days had been a roller coaster of emotions and alcohol that resulted in his stomach demanding an evacuation. The comedian dropped to his hands and knees and grabbed the closest thing to him, the God awful umbrella holder that he always hated. The contents of his stomach emptied in surges of tears and pain as the vomit tore at his throat. Once he was sure that it was over, David sat with his back against the wall and his feet next to the door he locked Simon out with.

\---

The music mogul groaned as he slowly picked himself off of the sidewalk. "I'm getting too old for this this shit," he muttered dusting off the seat of his pants and marching toward David's door. Determined to get into that house and find out why David was acting to erratically, he dug in his pocket for the key. Just as he was about to unlock the door he heard muffled sobs coming from behind it.

"What am I doing?" he muttered, replacing the key. Dropping to his knees, he pressed his face against the door and in his calmest voice began the sales pitch of a lifetime.


	6. Chapter 6

"David, please open the door," Simon begged.

The comedian stifled a snicker. Never would he have ever thought that Simon would beg for anything, let alone beg David.

"No, I want you to leave," he muttered.

"David I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me. Even if it means sitting here all night."

David groaned. Simon would do it too if for no other reason than to be a stubborn ass. "Okay fine, talk," David demanded.

"Will you open the door for me?"

"No!" he snapped. "If you want to talk do it there or go home."

Simon sighed, resigning himself to the cold concrete porch. "Alright, but I am only going to say this once so pay attention."

Despite the door blocking Simon's vision, David nodded his head in agreement mentally preparing himself for the rejection.

"David... I... shit I don't know how to say this," Simon groaned. Fuck, come on Cowell it's not like this is your first time with difficult conversations, he mentally screamed at himself. You're a CEO damn it act like one! "David... since bringing you on the show everything has gotten so much better. Ratings are up, the acts are better, it is like talent is drawn to you-"

"Seriously Simon? You chase me down; nearly break down my door all to make sure that I come back to work? Are you fucking kidding me right now? Save your breath," David screamed. Simon could hear the sounds of his beloved comedian getting up ready to walk out of his life forever.

"David no! Please don't walk away. I didn't mean it like that. Well I did, but not... Fuck I can't get it right," Simon yelled punching the door. A sharp pain shot through his fist straight up his arm causing him to cry out again. "This is so hard," he whimpered.

The sound of footsteps stopped at the door followed by a quiet sniffle. "Try Simon."

A sigh escaped Simon's lips, one last change. "David, please don't leave me. I can't do this without you."

"Do what? The show?" David snapped.

"No David everything. Ever since you strutted up onto that stage you've done something to me. I can't not wake up in the morning and not see your face hidden behind that ridiculous coffee mug that says I love Simon Cowell that I hate. Or hear your laugh at idiotic jokes-"

"Great list of compliments Simon," David growled still not buying into what his former boss was trying to say.

"What I mean is you pissed me off the other night because you were right. You have made me question some of the core fundamentals of what makes me, me. I was jealous. The way you were staring at that act the other night... why don't you look at me that way?"

Simon's confession was met with cold silence. David had just confessed to loving him, but within moments Simon had fucked it up. Just like he always did. It was the primary reason he stayed out of relationships and put his heart and soul into the empire that he created. It was his lover, his spouse and his pride. Because outside of his empire, no one had ever truly loved him.

As he prepared himself to leave and have his bloodied hand looked at the sharp click of tumblers in a lock turning caught his attention. Leaning away from the door he looked up to see it swing open and an angry David standing in the threshold.

"What are you trying to tell me? Boil it down to one sentence because it's cold out here," he demanded.

"David... I love you, please don't leave me," Simon whispered not daring to look him in the eyes.

David's expression softened as he reached down and cupped Simon's chin forcing him to look up. He was greeted with soft brown eyes filled with tears. Simon was clutching his right hand to his chest, blood dripping down his arm staining the white T-shirt he had on. "Come on," he beckoned, "it's warmer in here and I'll take a look at your hand."

Simon looked up at him and smiled. Maybe he hadn't screwed up as much as he thought he had. David lead him through the familiar hallway and into the kitchen he found Simon washing a glass just that morning. It felt like a lifetime ago, all of this did. Without uttering a word he sat Simon down on the black bar stool and took out the first aid kit. Meticulously he began to clean the self-inflicted wound on his boss's hand. While he was exceptionally careful, he knew that Simon had broken at least his knuckles, possibly other bones as well. He took his time wiping the blood up and cleaning out the cuts, refusing to look directly at Simon. What was he supposed to do now? Simon told him that he loved him, it was all he wanted, but now that he had it... Where did they go from there? The social implications alone of Simon coming out-

"Stop it," Simon cooed.

"Huh?" David looked up confused.

"Don't huh me. I know you well enough to know what you are thinking."

"And what is that?"

"Every detail of what I said. Did I mean it? How is this going to affect life outside these walls?"

David's eyes grew wide. Of course he knows. He always does, he thought.

"I meant every word David."

"I know Simon, just, where do we go from here?" David asked.

Without responding, Simon stood up off the stool and placed his one good hand on the back of David's head. Giving him no time to respond, Simon pulled him into a kiss. It was tentative at first, but David relaxed into his Simon's embrace wrapping his arms around his waist. He took this as permission and pulled his David closer, teasing him for permission. David pulled back and smiled.

"Not to be too forward but, would you like to go upstairs?" David asked shyly.

Simon abruptly turned and marched towards the staircase dragging his comedian with him.

"Okay I guess I wasn't being too forward," he laughed.

Simon turned towards his new lover with his best come-fuck-me look, "No dear. I've been waiting for this for far too long. And I'm not a patient man."


End file.
